Well, hello everyone and what a DAY…. I am almost looking forward to going to sleep tonight, just so I can start all shiny, fresh, and new tomorrow. Then I remember, everything, and I mean EVERYTHING that happens is for a reason. It may be happening for a reason that hasn’t even crossed my mind, or a reason that is out of my control entirely… OR a reason that is for someone entirely different than me, and I just happen to be the person, being intricately used, to assist in the moving of energy, to place someone else on the path that God and the universe has designed for us all.

Needless to say, today has been a whirlwind and took me for a few looptie loops, and I had to consciously remember to relax into the rough parts, and breath through the bumps.  It takes a lot, especially when you have been thrusted into unfamiliar waters and forced to swim. I’m sure you’re curious as to what my day entailed and how it unravelled into me writing a blog on a random Tuesday afternoon.

Well, I’ll tell ya….. My morning started off per usual, I woke up Lillianna, who was especially disgruntled, and did not want to wake up  for pre school. I made her breakfast, took my vitamins, and made my coffee.  I then got my exceptionally agitated daughter dressed, potty’d, and tried to get her heart shaped toast ( that she could actually care less about, and DID NOT want to eat) down her throat. I stepped in dog crap, and had to clean it off my shoe and the carpet, while time was ticking away to get to pre school on time.

This was just the first half an hour of my waking up “experience”… Hold tight, it gets WAY better…..

I then try to coax Lillianna into the car, and she just keeps telling me how cold she is, yet, won’t put on a jacket or sweater. Next, I get my “freezing” daughter into my nice warm car that I had previously started, and ran for 20 minutes, so she could be warm on the way to school. ( another thing she could care less about), but I care, so I guess using the $3.78 per gallon of gas it was worth it.

Finally we got all packed up and into the car, I pulled out of the driveway, and my gas light came on. I mentioned something about it out loud, and THEN Lillianna began insisting that she wants to go  with me to the gas station BEFORE  school started, and we only had  5 min. until she actually became late… and this momma is NEVER late…. 5 min early, is on time for me, so being late is never an option. Other peoples time and agendas, are no less than mine, we made a commitment and by golly we are sticking to it, so Lillianna was S.O.L. on joining me at the gas station…. I drove all the way to school, got her cute little bod out of the car and into class. I signed her in, said hello to her teacher, and some of her other cute little classmates. I bent down, told her that she was my best friend, and made her give me our secret “pinky kiss”…. I said one final  goodbye to all, and headed out the door.

I was almost to my car and began having very OMINOUS thoughts, I started thinking about the survivors of the world trade centers stories, and on how they accidentally slept in, or how they had to stop for gas, or for  a homeless person, that actually made them late, that eventually saved their lives… . I began scoping the parking lot like a crazy person, I even checked the garbage bins for people hiding in them…

… You see, last week I was at my workout session, while Lillianna was at school, we were  almost done at around 10:45am when a song came on that sparked my memories of COLUMBINE…. We were nearly done with the workout, and I shouted “turn this S#!T OFF!!!! ( not like me at all, I usually shout to turn it up) …..  I could not help but imagine my daughter being chased and gunned down at her school….. It was the strangest and most awful feeling, I began questioning the choices I made for her shoes that day… Thinking  that the shoes I had her wear weren’t “running ” shoes and how on earth could she get away…???? …. etc…. Let your imagination go, I was ALREADY there, times a thousand.

I remember beginning to cry, and desperately wanted to go to my phone to call my sister, my best friend Marta, my husband, girlfriend Chelsea, or SOMEONE to go and check on her immediately…. My class ended, and I didn’t stick around for even an extra minute.  I jumped into my car and sped back to my hometown and the school my baby girl was  attending … And that was just it, she was there…. Having a great time, playing duck duck goose, and laughing with all of the children… My heart stopped…..Then gave a GIGANTIC huge sigh of relief….

Thank God, MY  baby was safe, laughing , playing, and having a ball…. All the while someone else’s “babies” really were being gunned down in the most horrific way in Oregon… That’s right,  I had these “crazy” and ominous feelings while the shootings were happening in Oregon… It really put a hole in my heart… My heart bled so bad that, some of my soul leaked out…. What is happening to our beautiful planet and the gorgeous souls that inhabit it? God help us, and please pray….

Well, back to today… I started having those ominous feelings again…. I called my sister  and had her sit in the parking lot of my daughters school, while I attended class… I worried all through class , not only for my child , but now for my sister, that went and sat in the parking lot of a “potentially dangerous school” … Jazzzzzzzus am I that Selfish?!?!?!?!? I had a major meltdown talking to my sister, who was sitting in my daughters pre school scoping it for weirdo’s…. I was cruising along highway 85 at a snails pace, sobbing away… I looked  to the right for a second, as a cruised at 4.5 miles per hour…. I saw a highway patrol officer to the right of me, I nodded and he gave me a horrendous and DIRTY LOOK… He got behind me ( thats when I realized I was in the carpool lane, with only ME in the car) and put on his lights .. He then, ( very angrily ) on his microphone, told me to pull over to the LEFT…. Oh crap….. Here we go again….. Not only was I sobbing, I couldn’t find my insurance card, so he wrote me TWO tickets… a carpool violation, $375 and then a fix it ticket on top of it…..!!! His lucky day meeting quota, but not mine….. I was pleasant the entire time, and  he was quite the opposite the entire time , while writing me up.  Adding insult to injury, I was needless to say,  Kaput….. I sobbed the entire way to class…. Thinking about sad days, asshole people, and my dad’s premature passing…. I almost made myself pass out  from  crying so hard and emotional anguish…

Whelp…. Like only my deceased father would do, I put a big smile on my face and made lemonade out of sour lemons… I got to class, found my friend Jessica and hugged her with a furious grip and asked her how she was able to leave her kids at school….? She answered me in the most perfect of ways, I can’t remember precisely what she said, but it helped, and I laughed, and forgot, for a second that I was a crazy helicopter mom.

Days like this are the ones that test our patients, self worth, compassion, and love. I urge you, me, and all who we know to go out and be the best we can be. No matter what the circumstance is, we have the power to control our own destiny. I realize our minds can be our biggest negative voices, once we realize that we can make a positive change to reconnect in the best of ways.

I drove home to my daughter safely in her school. I took her to lunch, and talked to her about her day, and soaked in every slurred and mis pronounced word. We made it, we made it through a day of mis guidance, freezing temperatures, snotty nosed kids, really hard exercise, police tickets,(plural)… and a crazy mom thinking she was and intuitive Nostradamus…..

I ALSO made it to another workout….. I think it was a really good workout, but I cursed my through every new exercise Scott Samuels at Push DT made us do, and I can’t wait to go back tomorrow! 😉

I am now going to eat all of the homemade cabbage soup I cooked and threw together before writing this blog. I hope this post finds you all healthy, happy, loved, and satisfied.

Sometimes things happen for us, and we know it….. And sometimes things happen for us and we don’t know it…Me..

Be the change you wish to see in the world. ~Gandhi

until next time,

Health and Love,

Lisa